COVID-19 has really ruined my 2020. I feel so helpless and feel as if I’ve wasted the last few months doing absolutely nothing. It’s crazy what being stuck in the house can really do to you. I nearly took a bus into town just to have a walk about. Going to Asda, B&M and Home Bargains just to have a nosy, things I take for granted… Now I’m not able to do any of these things I feel so lost?
I feel like I could be doing soooo many more productive things with my day but instead I find myself wondering what to do with myself and scrolling endlessly through Facebook and Tik-Tok. I should be playing with Grace, doing education work with her, cleaning, being productive but all I seem to be able to do is stare at my phone screen for 6 – 7 hours a day! I feel as if I’m failing everyone! Why can’t I just get up and do the things that need to be done? I’m drowning in my own thoughts, worries and things that actually need to be done!! I can’t be the only person that feels this way?! I thought that once I got used to being in the house with my new routine things would become easier but it has turned out completely different! The same things over and over again, day in day out.
I’ve been trying to just have some time to reflect on things or I’ve been planning on ways of doing this. I got an idea from a group I follow to do a “things I am gratefuk for” jar. Every night before bed Grace and I will talk over the day and write down what we enjoyed doing that day – a memory, what she enjoyed eating, who we’d seen, something that happened in that day that we are grateful for. It doesn’t have to say a lot but it will help us keep track of the day as well as something to keep to look back on once this is all over!